I quit my day job

In my last blog post I wrote about more to follow on some changes, so here is my more to follow… 

I started my career in the arts about a decade ago when the U.S. Airforce told me I was to serve as a graphic designer and later a photographer. Somewhere along the way I took myself off of that career path for a higher paying one with the U.S. Army. So for the past 4 years I've been working away at a job where I was unhappy. Something important to note is that at my Army job, I spent most of my days reviewing soldier suicide investigations for release to their next of kin. Doing this everyday was a real strain on a creative soul like myself. As a creative, I visualize everything... words come to life. I kept thinking that with each pay raise perhaps happiness would follow.

Almost 2 years ago my second child was born and while I was on maternity leave I picked my camera back up and realized what was missing. In time, I took on a few long term freelance opportunities, started scheduling photography sessions and fine tuning the skills that I had been neglecting. My time spent creating brought me the happiness and job satisfaction that I deeply desired. During the day I had my Army job, at night I had design and photography commitments to fulfil. I thought it would slow down or fizzle but it didn't, it picked up. It got to the point where everyday that I went to "work" I was watching the clock, waiting to go home only to go right back to work. Work was all I did.

After much thinking and discussing with my husband, we realized what had to be done… it was time. So here I am today, Monday December 16th, my first official week of full time self employment! This is both exciting and scary. Instead of sifting through hundreds of pages of documents, I am sitting at my desk, at home, taking a break from creating to accomplish something that I have rarely had the time for before now… updating my blog... connecting with those who desire to know more about me and what I have to offer. I am finally back on the right track and feeling very satisfied. 

If you have some words of wisdom to offer or a similar experience to share, please feel free to leave a comment below. 

Slow shuttered memories

Back when I was at DINFOS (military photo school) the instructors drilled one thing (among many others) into our heads: "photography is subjective". I loved that, as an artist I loved being able to throw that word out there. Subjective was my license to shoot my way and claim "subjective" if my boss didn't like it. But I never really had that problem, people loved my work. I shot that way for a few years but when I got out of the Air Force, I did a brain dump got a non-photo job and fell into a rut. I forgot about my favorite word and started listening to people who were not photographers. They would tell me that I should do poses and props and look at what other photographers were doing. And what did I do? I accepted their bad advice. I started downing my style, trying to change it... Trying to fit in. And for what? It got me no where but disappointed in myself. 

But good news, I woke up. It's taken me a while but after much headache, I've officially welcomed the real photographer in myself back.

When I hit the shutter release button on a camera I am looking through the lens and capturing what I see. I've always believed there to be something very sacred about capturing an image. I like to call it freezing a moment. In my mind, that's what I do. It's like magic and I'm very passionate about it. To sum it up, I'm your shoot it as I see it and most importantly feel it photographer and there's no reason for me or anyone else to ever feel pressured to deviate from that. 

Here's a good example of what i'm talking about. A few years ago when we first learned that my grandmother had Alzheimer's, when things were only slightly crazy at family gatherings, I got my camera out and photographed the evening as it was unfolding. I hate the way flash looks so I kept it off, cranked the ISO as high as I could get it, set the camera to the widest aperture, lowest shutter speed and with the camera glued to my face I hung out with my family. The series of photos I'm about to post are in my opinion my best because of the emotion I was able to capture and the story I was able to tell with the images. Things got hectic, my grandma was anxious, kids were crying, my mom was in a cleaning frenzy, but I kept shooting. For me, that's what it's all about. That is who I am as a photographer and why I love being behind my camera.

Update: My grandmother has since passed away. 
I'm so grateful that I have these images, these frozen moments.