Today is the first day of 2021. It’s New Year’s Day.
When I think about this past year and try to sum it up, the only word I can find is metamorphosis. My life today is so different from what it was on this day last year, it has forever been changed. In the past, I’ve found myself spending New Year’s Day making notes about all the things I’ll do differently. Today I’m just wishing I could have some of the things I lost last year back.

I think we all lost some of our freedom last year as a result of this “pandemic” and that’s been weighing heavily on me. All of the things I used to take for granted. Things I never imagined would be something I’d ever find myself missing. Freedom to travel, freedom to go to the grocery store without covering my face, freedom to send my kids to school. A lot of people welcomed the extra time at home and it was nice for my family at first too, but when 2 weeks turned into the rest of the year and the work slowed to almost a halt for me, it wasn’t nice anymore. I know I’m not the only one, but I just have to vent a little, I’m tired of it. I’ll take the new year, but not the “pandemic”.

As if 2020 was a cruel joke, the pandemic was minor compared to other things the year had for us. We lost my Grandpa in April, followed by our dear friend and neighbor, Ryan (who was only 37) in June to the ocean, the next month my stepdad was taken by the lake. And then as if three wasn’t enough, my younger sister who was only 27 passed away right before Thanksgiving. I spent the last month of 2020 full of anxiety wondering who would be next.

2020 was an absolute nightmare.

However, when the clock struck 12 this morning on January 1st, 2021, I was still standing. In retrospect, I have a lot to be thankful for and while I’m still processing the events of 2020, I’ve learned a lot and my outlook today is so different from what it was on this day last year. As doors closed, other doors opened. Life has changed and will keep changing. Our family grew by three when my nieces and nephew came to live with us. There are 6 kids in my house now and they are all thriving, every day is an adventure. My husband made it through his first year of retirement from the U.S. Army and has a job that he loves. We have the most amazing neighbors, friends, and extended family. My husband also gave me his “woodshop” and we converted it into a studio for me (more to come on that when it’s 100% finished) so I can hopefully get back to making art and being productive regardless of if the kids are at home or not.

2021, I don’t know what’s in store but I think it’s best to just take it a day at a time.